APPLY the blindfold, offer him a final cigarette. Surely Louis van Gaal, it’s time to step onto the gallows?
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| Louis van Gaal dropped captain Wayne Rooney, but his side failed to respond with a performance |
Seven games without a victory, four straight defeats, listless and clueless, Van Gaal’s Manchester United are approaching the end.
And the Dutchman appeared to admit as much after the game, saying: "The club doesn't have to fire or sack me - sometimes I do it by myself."
The Potteries traditionally produce the finest china, United currently under the big Dutchman have spent £275 million on a pile of old tat that even Del Boy would have trouble moving on.
British astronaut Tim Peake surprised everyone by unveiling a Stoke flag during his space mission and at times their football was on a different planet from United’s lacklustre fare.
For the condemned there are far more hospitable final resting places than The Britannia which loves to bury reputations.
And they don’t come much bigger than Van Gaal and the club he inherited 18 months ago.
How the home fans who turn this arena into a baying cockpit lapped it up, anxious to once again provide a chilling backdrop to another eclipse of the establishment.
‘You’re getting sacked in the morning’ they boomed wallowing in the torture and embarrassment the Dutchman was surely experiencing as he once again sat impassively as if he was strapped into his dug out seat.
All around him was more United defensive carnage as his empire crumbled beneath him, Stoke proving once again they fear no one these days.
Noisy neighbours Manchester City have been silenced here along with Chelsea already this season – the Londoners defeat contributing to Jose Mourinho’s eventual demise.
Mourinho wasn’t actually here to witness that setback as he served a stadium ban and ironically although he was again absent it didn’t prevent his shadow hanging over Van Gaal.
There were some Mourinho masks and a lifesize cardboard cut out on view – obviously left over from the Chelsea fans who had paraded them.
Many disillusioned United fans would love ‘The Special One’ to replace Van Gaal who in their eyes is no Dutch masterpiece.
It was a blustery afternoon in the Potteries – a wind of change maybe is blowing Old Trafford way.
Certainly United looked a side shorn of confidence and cohesion as Stoke raced into a two goal lead within 26 minutes.
All that was missing from the opening goal was the gift wrapping courtesy of Memphis Depay who endured another soulless 45 minutes before being replaced by Wayne Rooney.
His attempted head back to David de Gea fell woefully short allowing Glen Johnson to set up Bojan for the easiest of finishes.
Stoke sensed United were there for the kill and how Marko Arnautovic loves the big stage and the opportunity to apply the telling blow.
The latest coup de grace arrived after a Bojan free-kick struck the United wall and Arnautovic seized the rebound and exploded a shot past De Gea from just outside the area.
United were on the canvas and it was little surprise that Van Gaal summoned his deposed captain off the bench, Wayne Rooney starting a Premier League or Champions League game amongst the substitutes for the first time in almost two years.
It had been a big call by Van Gaal but like a high roller who has run out of luck, his gambles aren’t working.
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| United's players left the pitch disconsolate after another limp defeat |
For Stoke manager Mark Hughes life doesn’t get much better these days – wins now against Manchester City the club which sacked him and Manchester United, the team he served so well.
Before the latest United visit he had reminded everyone how in the past the Old Trafford teams had expected to win every game.
Just one every now and then would do as United are on a slippery slope and are in the midst of their worst sequence since 1990 when Sir Alex Ferguson found himself under pressure.
They rallied in the second half and Marouanne Fellaini should have done better with a Rooney cut back, the lack of power on his effort allowing Jack Butland to make a fine stop.
The England keeper also did well to keep out late attempts from Anthony Martial and Juan Mata.
But Stoke weren’t exactly hanging on and still caused United problems on the break.
A delighted Hughes said: “You have got to be brave and confident when you go toe to toe with the big teams in this league. I thought in the first half we were excellent and it would take a good team to stay with us.
“In the second half you expect a reaction and we got one. There was a key save from Jack Butland because at 2-1 it could have been difficult for us.
“Now we are looking at a top 10 finish.”
A bit like United then!
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