Ten top tips for Jose Mourinho to turn it around at Chelsea

Jose Mourinho is under pressure at Chelsea

SUNDAY NEWS NEWS BLOG football correspondent REGINALD ENYI gave Jose Mourinho a ticking off for being sarcastic during a recent press conference. Here he offers the Struggling One a few well intentioned tips on how to become special again.

 

I've never been one to kick a man when he's down - and Jose is as down as they get right now.

The poor fella's midas touch has gone missing, Chelsea look more like chumps than champs, and he needs all the real friends he can get.

It's at times like this when a few well meant words could make a difference, so here goes. Ten top tips to help Jose turn it around.

 

1. Persuade the boss to splash out on a couple of world class reinforcements next January. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but as successful sides usually strengthen when they're on top not when they're struggling it was arguably a  big mistake not to have signed them in the summer. And it's probably the reason you're in such a pickle now.

2. Say sorry to Dr Eva Carneiro. You got that very wrong, old chap, and despite you're protestations at critics who told you so, it has been downhill ever since - on and off the pitch. Everyone respected her, and as human beings not just footballers, the players must have wondered what the heck you might do to them after seeing how she was treated.

3. Get Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard back from north America pronto on short term deals. Both are inspirational legends with players and supporters alike, and even if they didn't play their influence would give the club a massive lift.

4. Start preparing for life without John Terry - like now. He's been a great servant and deserves a future at Chelsea in another role. But he's struggling, Jose, you can see it a mile off. And he's not alone. Cesc Fabregas is just a shadow at the minute,  and Branislav Ivanovic is also fast approaching his sell by date.

5. Go steady on Eden Hazard if you want to keep him. He might not look like the player hailed as a world beater last season, but public monsterings don't go down well with young multi millionaires. Especially when clubs like PSG and Real Madrid would be happy to put up with the limited workrate you berate him about.

 

6. Cut your losses on Radamel Falcao (Didier could fill in for him perfectly) who looks lost in the 100mph Premier League. My moles from south America tell me he would much rather be in Spain and Valencia would take him like a shot. So let him go.

7. I know you love Diego Costa, but he spends too much time playing the Mr Nasty role these days instead of the one that saw him scoring so many goals last season. That smelly armpits gesture to Stoke's Ryan Shawcross last week was more pond life than Premier League. A firm word in his ear, perhaps?

8. Can you also persuade Mr Abramovich to say what he thinks about things right now - and you in particular? His silence spells uncertainty - for both players and fans - and it can only get worse if he doesn't lead from the front. Verbally at any rate.

9. Try taking a week off and let your staff take the strain for a change. Family really does come first and with your dad's illness you all need each other right now.

10. And finally, I'm sorry I can't take up your offer of new glasses to see matches more clearly. I've already been to Specsavers!