Lara and Paul came from two strictly religious families and when providence eventually threw them together at a Church concert, they believed it was the Lord’s doing. “We’d both had relationships before but were in-between partners when we met over 15 years ago”, recalled Lara.
“I’d left work early to help in a fund-raising play the Church was organising and Paul was in charge of the music. He certainly took his duties seriously and thanks to his efforts, we had a very successful outing. “We were thrown together a lot during rehearsals and at the end of the assignment, we continued seeing each other to our pastor’s delight. Months later, we both agreed we were ready for marriage. There was nothing stopping us.
We were both in our late 20s. I had a good job with the manufacturing company I worked for and Paul was a lecturer, living on campus. Accommodation was taken care of and we both had our own cars. I was a virgin and was a bit surprised when Paul confessed he was too. Can you imagine a 29-year-old virgin in this day and age? We quickly settled to married life and got the hang of love-making without too much hassle – we’d watched a couple of sex tapes to really tell us what to do and what to expect.
“Within the period of seven years, we’d had three adorable children and we decided we didn’t want more. Then out of the blues, Paul’s escapades with the opposite sex, especially female students on the campus started making the rounds. It looked as if he’d found sex so intoxicating all of a sudden he couldn’t have enough of it. I actually came home early once to find him in bed with one of his students but the last straw was when I caught him red-handed pants down with a step-sister of mine who came to stay over so she could sit early for the University exams. I was furious. Just how low could he sink?
“I left the marriage shortly after and moved back in with my parents who were already fed up of telling me to learn to live with Paul\’s infidelity. He’d crossed the line picking on a member of the family. As if by divine compensation, I developed a relationship with one of our major suppliers and was able to get a flat through his generosity. Paul was the only man I knew before I met Rasheed and I was looking forward to the usual quick rump I usually had with my estranged husband when Rasheed blew my mind away with his superb love-making. It was a delightful experience I revelled in and when Paul made half-hearted efforts to get the family together again, I told him what to do with his tackle.
“He wasn’t giving us as much financial support as we would need. Thankfully, all the children went to the staff school and their fees were automatically deducted from his salary. Rasheed was generous and life was good. When Paul got to know about my lover, he was furious and called me a lot of names. I reminded him of all the pain he’d caused in the past and we became frosty with each other. “My affair with Rasheed lasted for about four years before it tapered off. He didn’t have that much to do with the company I worked for and didn’t need me to push his payments to be paid promptly. One thing I would for ever be grateful to him for is that he encouraged me to apply for a mortgage with a bank he had a lot of influence in and when I got a good flat, he made up the difference in the down payment.
“The children are now growing and our first child got admitted to the staff school’s secondary wing a few years back. I was over-joyed but Paul had what he thought was a better alternative. Why didn’t we encourage him to attend one of these posh secondary schools which had better academic results than the staff school? He probably thought he was talking to a fool. How could he afford to pay for such an education when he was hardly meeting his kids’ needs? If I lost the chance of the children’s fees being deducted straight from his salary, I would be lumbered with them for the rest of their school years. As things are now, all the three children are in the University’s staff school and Paul’s solely responsible for their fees.
That’s a lot of weight lifted off my shoulders. “I still see Rasheed once in a while but I’ve also made good progress at work and have moved to a better firm with mouth-watering remuneration. There’s no hope I would ever get back to Paul. He’s had a few live-in lovers some of which the children are aware of. He seems to like life on campus with its endless supply of girls to satisfy his raging libido. He’s even had one love child and I wish him the best of luck. He was my first lover but that doesn’t make me sentimental enough to want to go back to him and his wayward ways. Afterall, he wasn’t the best lover I’ve had. “Saving yourself for marriage is all well and good. But believe me, your first lover is not necessarily the best. Who knows if I wouldn’t have happily gone back to Paul if he were half as good as Rasheed!?”
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