Could your child have depression?

Talking helps to ease feelings of isolation for all the family

BEING a parent of a depressed teenager is not easy. Mental illness is still hard to talk about in our society. If you open up, sometimes you can get a hurtful response at the point when you are least able to cope with it.

 

People may not understand how it is affecting you. They may not see how your family struggles to cope. They may not realise that your child is ill. Just be aware of the ignorance that persists and that there's not much you can do about it at the time. Also be aware that no one is to blame. It is nobody's fault.

HOW COMMON IS DEPRESSION IN TEENAGERS?

Many studies and surveys tell us that depression in teenagers is very common. About a quarter of them will have experienced depression by the time they reach 19.

At any one time, in a group of 100 teens, about five or six of them will be depressed and it is likely to be more as it's very hard to know about everyone who is affected.

While these are unfortunate statistics for young people as a whole, it also means you are not alone with the worries you may be having about your child. It is likely that other teenagers and parents, perhaps at your child's school and in your neighbourhood, will be going through similar experiences.

Depression does not discriminate between race or social class. It can strike anyone at any time and does not mean that the sufferer is weak or a failure in any way.

The condition seems to affect more teenagers than younger children, which may be related to the changes teenagers go through as they mature into adults. Once depression is diagnosed, there are many things that can be done to help teenagers combat low mood.

 

The condition seems to affect more teenagers than younger children

WHAT IS DEPRESSION?

It's important to remember that depression as an illness is not the same as the term we sometimes use to describe a temporary emotional state such as sadness or feeling low. People use the term "depressed" to describe fleeting emotions.

It is an interesting contradiction that the word depression can still have such a stigma attached to it, yet the word depressed is used all the time by the general public.

There is often confusion about what depression is. This is not discussed regularly or openly by people outside the mental health and healthcare fields. In fact, many parents say that they have found depression is still a taboo subject.

The impact of this is that young people, parents and families can be left feeling quite lonely and isolated with the problem, with little understanding from their wider family, friends and, at times, their child's school and community.

It can be difficult to explain what it's like to support a child with depression on a daily basis, how it affects the family or the concerns you have about your child's wellbeing or future.

 

Depression in teenagers is common with five or six out of 100 suffering from it

Having depression is a serious matter. It can affect every aspect of a person's life, from the quality of sleep to relationships. It is often invisible. While someone with a broken leg goes through many difficulties associated with not being able to move around freely and being in pain, it is something that is very visible.

This means that others around that person can immediately appreciate some of the struggles of being in this position and people often make allowances to help the individual cope.

Depression is not only hard to spot, it is often actively hidden. In extreme cases depressed people resort to extreme coping behaviours, such as self-harm or suicide bids.

When the condition is concealed, young people frequently suffer in silence for significant periods of time. Sometimes this is also the case for the young person's immediate family. For families who are yet to receive support and treatment it can feel like they are on a desert island with little idea of how to move forward.

It can be a huge relief when others start talking to the young person and their family about how they are feeling and the impact that being depressed is having on their life.

HOW DO I KNOW MY CHILD HAS DEPRESSION?

Most parents know when their children are not OK. They may be generally sad and withdrawn, or spending most of their time in their rooms, may be snappy or getting into arguments with family members more often, not eating well, not wanting to go out or do things with the family or others, getting into trouble at school or displaying other, more concerning behaviours. It can be difficult however for parents to know whether this is usual teenage behaviour, perhaps a phase their child is going through, or something more serious such as depression. Many may already know their child has depression and have discussed this with their GP or other healthcare professionals.

 

Changes in your teen's appetite may indicate a problem

Indeed, some parents may have already dealt with other family members who have been affected or have had depression themselves.

If you are a parent wondering whether your child is depressed, the following section will outline the common symptoms of depression and hopefully give you a clearer understanding of what might be going on for your child.

The symptoms should be counted only if it is a definite departure from your child's usual behaviour and personality.

SYMPTOMS TO WATCH OUT FOR

• Feeling low or unhappy a lot of the time

• Loss of interest in and enjoyment of usual activities

• Irritable mood

• Changes in sleeping habits (sleeping much more than usual/ difficulty falling or staying asleep)

• Feeling worthless

• Tiredness, reduced energy

 

• Big changes in weight

• Feeling inappropriate guilt

• Changes in appetite

• Difficulties with making decisions

• Difficulties with concentration

• Feeling restless or agitated

• Feeling hopeless about the future

• Thoughts about suicide or actual suicide attempts If you are concerned that your child may have depression it is important they receive the right support as soon as possible.

A visit to the GP will help you to determine the extent of the problem. It might also be a good idea to monitor your child's symptoms for a week or two.

You can do this with your child or, if you prefer not to discuss this openly just yet, you can do this on your own to begin with.

Some of the symptoms will be more visible (tearfulness, irritability) and others are much more private (feeling hopeless about the future) and therefore you may need to ask your child some questions to get a better idea of some of these feelings.

It is important to receive the right professional support as soon as possible so that you do not feel as if you are dealing with this on your own.

Information can help you understand your child's depression but we do not encourage parents to make a diagnosis on their own.