Mother and daughter are both lesbians: Agony aunt answers your questions

Can't condemn my daughter for being a lesbian because I am too

OUR agony aunt gets to the heart of your sex and relationship problems.

My daughter is a lesbian and secretly, so am I

My 27-year-old daughter is in a relationship with another woman, but my husband is horrified and won’t accept it. He says she should “snap out of it” and wants me to act the same way towards her. But how can I without being a hypocrite?

The truth is that I’ve always been attracted to women, too. My husband is a respectable man who has provided well for us, but I’ve never really loved him and only married him because it was what was expected. We stopped having sex after our daughter was conceived and have never discussed it.

If I’d been born in a different era, I suspect I would have been openly lesbian too, so who am I to condemn my daughter?

An open, heart-to-heart conversation with your husband is long overdue. Effectively, you’ve been starved of sex and affection for more than 27 years. You’ve sacrificed so much for the sake of your daughter, the family and “doing the right thing”. Surely you’re allowed to finally be honest now?

Even if you’re not able to tell him about your own feelings, at least make it clear that you will not judge or shun your own daughter. He needs to hear that life is short. She is your own flesh and blood and is entitled to feel loved and settled. This isn’t 1815 and there is enough strife in this world without his bigotry adding to it.

Maybe you also need to think about your own future, too.